Fill Me Up God
Imagine your heart bursting with light and your eyes drip tears of relief, joy, and love. That's precisely the way I felt since after Sunday's service. I'm still on this spiritual high and it's 3:07 on a Monday. One of my favorite songs, Fill Me Up by Tasha Cobb was sung by the amazing worship team and had me in tears the entire time. See the amazing performance for yourself.
My heart is heavy because I need to tell you something. Yes, you! I need to speak to the girl who cries herself to sleep at night because she's just not satisfied with anything in her life. The girl who filled with envy of every "pretty" girl on her Instagram feed that she can't see any beauty within herself. The girl who makes one mistakes and thinks that she is absolutely worthless. The girl who works relentlessly and feels as though she's accomplished nothing. And the girl who's filled with so much self-hatred that she can't look in the mirror and see at least one beautiful attribute about herself.
There are days where I may finish all of my homework, get a blog post up, and a video and still feel like I could have did more. There are even days where I may disappoint an authority figure, family member, or friend and feel unworthy of living. But that's not true. God loves you more than you can ever comprehend or even love someone else. It took me years to understand that and I'm honestly still in the process of grasping this concept.
When I humbled myself to God, I felt worthy of living. I felt like I could start over. You're probably wondering, how did you humble yourself to God? Well, I started telling myself I believed in His word. I started to read the Bible, solely for what it was. I analyzed things that were working and not working in my life then removed every non-beneifical thing. I had to let go of "friends" who were influencing me in any negative way. I had to change my mindset from, "I deserve to die" to "I am living to glorify His name." I even had to stop obsessing over the newest self-help book and realize God made me as a sensitive, extremely empathetic, loving person who sometimes can be selfish, push people away, and cry...a lot.
But if you can, please believe me. No matter what mistake you make, no matter where you are in your life, or if you even hate God right now. He still loves you because you are His child. So, open your heart to Him by talking to Him. Tell Him everything you've been going through. Yes, He already knows but He wants to hear from you! He wants to be your very best friend because He made you.